When it comes to our children, we all want the best. We want them to
grow up to become happy, safe, confident adults who are able to make
responsible choices. Unfortunately, the FBI estimates that as many as
2,300 children are reported missing to the police each day. Some
become lost, some run away. Some are abducted, and others are thrown
away. Some fall prey to crime, are abused, exploited, murdered.
Therefore, alerting our children about dangerous situations has
become as necessary as teaching them the ABCs. Fortunately, parents
armed with the right information can go a long way toward coaching
children to stay out of harm's way.
Teaching children to be aware and alert doesn't mean teaching them to
be fearful and afraid. The goal is to train youth to use their eyes, ears and
knowledge to make appropriate judgments about situations, and to
encourage children to turn to a trusted adult for help if a problem does
arise. Protection Starts at Home
Home should be a place where children feel truly comfortable about
talking freely about their likes and dislikes, their friends and their
feelings. In that kind of open atmosphere, children hopefully will feel
comfortable turning to their parents or another trusted adult with life's
ups and downs. If you notice a change in your child's behavior, have a
heart-to-heart talk. Find a comfortable place where you won't be
interrupted and talk with your child in a concerned and nonthreatening
way. Ask teachers and school administrators if there's a problem at
school and, if so, ask them for help. Here are some strategies for
promoting good communication with your children and an atmosphere
to help them thrive:

· Remind them how much they're loved with hugs, words and
gestures appropriate from a parent.

· Listen-really listen-to your children.

· Build confidence and self-esteem in your children
by "catching" them being good. Look for situations to
say "congratulations, " "way to go" or "good job."

· Support your children's involvement in extracurricular
activities, sports and hobbies of their choice.

· Show interest in your children's schoolwork and activities.

· Get to know your children's teachers and caregivers.

· Get to know your children's friends and their families.

· Respect an older child's need for privacy, but don't ignore
the continued need for parental supervision and involvement.

· If you're overwhelmed by a family problem, seek the
assistance of a trained counselor or clergy person.

As soon as your children can articulate a sentence, you should begin
teaching them how to protect themselves. The following are some basic
safety rules to convey:

· If you get separated from your parents in a public place,
go to a checkout counter, security office or lost and found area.
Tell the person in charge that you need help finding your parents.

· If someone wants to take your picture, say NO and tell your
parents, day care provider or teacher.

· Do NOT get in a car or go anywhere with any person unless
your parents have told you that it is okay. (Parents: Share a code
word with your child known only among family members. Stress to your
child that anyone offering a ride unexpectedly — even a family
friend — will have been given the code word in advance.)

· If someone follows you on foot or in a car, immediately get
to a safe area.

· Don't approach the car of anyone who claims to be asking
for directions or looking for a lost pet.

· If someone tries to take you somewhere without your
parents' permission, quickly get away from him or her and
scream, "This person is not my parent."

· Always ask your parents' permission to go somewhere and try
to have a friend with you.

Basic Safety Rules For Parents:
Use your eyes, ears and intuition to help you protect your children. Here
are some safety rules for parents:

· Know where your children are at all times. Insist they ask
permission to go to a friend's house or play in the neighborhood.

· Be sensitive to changes in your child's behavior. Keep the
lines of communication open so you can ask your child what's going on.

· Be alert to a teenager or adult who is paying an unusual
amount of attention to your child or giving them inappropriate or
expensive gifts.

· Remember what your child is wearing each time your child
leaves the house.

· Do not permit your child to wear any clothing that has your
child's name visible to others. Personalizations can help a kidnapper
gain your child's trust

Simply telling children not to talk to strangers could mislead them.
More often, children are harmed by someone they know--a relative,
family friend, neighbor or other familiar adult. According to the National
Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC), children are better
served with instructions to be wary of certain kinds of situations or
behaviors--such as touching or being touched by an adult in any place a
swimsuit would cover--rather than individuals who have an unusual or
disheveled appearance. A clear, calm and reasonable message about
potentially harmful situations and actions may be easier for children to
understand than a profile or image of a stranger.
Children can be raised to be polite and friendly, but tell them it is
okay for them to be suspicious of any adult asking for assistance.
Often exploiters or abductors initiate seemingly innocent contact
with the victim. They might ask for help in finding a lost puppy, or
simply ask for directions.

Teach children at an early age that they:

· Should trust their feelings.

· Have the right to say no to what they sense is wrong.

· Should not keep secrets from their parents.

If someone does approach them in a manner that makes them feel
uncomfortable, they should tell their parents immediately.
Safeguarding Your Child In Cyberspace More and more homes and
schools are connected by computer to commercial services, private
bulletin boards and the Internet.
Parents should be aware of these systems and how they work. Ways to
be connected via computer include:

· Online services, which are maintained by commercial, self-
regulated businesses. They may screen or provide some editorial and
user controls of the material contained on their systems.

· Computer Bulletin Boards, called BBS systems, can be
operated by individuals, businesses or organizations. The material
presented is usually theme oriented, offering information on hobbies
and interests. While there are BBS systems that feature adult-oriented
material, most attempt to limit minors from accessing the information
contained on those systems.

· The Internet, a global "network of networks," is not
governed by any entity. This leaves no limits or checks on the kind of
information that is maintained by and accessible to Internet users.

Children and teenagers can get a lot of benefit from being online,
but they also can be targets of crime and exploitation in the new
environment. Some of the potential risks of unsupervised online
activity include:

· Exposure to material of a sexual or violent nature.

· Inadvertently providing information or arranging an
encounter that could risk a child's safety.

· Receiving electronic mail or bulletin board messages that
are harassing, demeaning or belligerent.

Most online services and Internet providers allow parents to limit
their children's access to certain services and features such as
adult-oriented "chat rooms" and bulletin boards. Check for these
controls when you first subscribe. Here are some helpful hints that also
can minimize many potential risks:

· Keep the computer in a central location, such as the
kitchen or family room, rather than in a child's bedroom. This way,
everyone in the family has access to it.

· Don't use computers and online services as electronic baby-
sitters.

· Set and discuss reasonable rules for using the computer.

· Become familiar with the services your child can access and
how they work.

· Show interest in how your child is spending time online,
and have your child explain what he or she is learning.

· Consider using a pseudonym or not listing your child's name
if the service allows it.

· Never give out identifying information or personal
information in a public message such as a "chat" or bulletin board, and
be sure you're dealing with someone both you and your child know and
trust before disclosing identifying information in an E-mail.

· Beware of any offers that involve meeting someone.

· Never respond to messages or bulletin board items that are
suggestive, obscene, belligerent, threatening or make you feel
uncomfortable. Encourage your child to inform you of any such
messages and, if you or your child receive a message that is
harassing, of a sexual nature, or threatening, forward a copy to your
service provider and ask for their assistance.

· Should you become aware of the transmission, use or viewing
of child pornography while online, immediately report this to the
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children by calling 1-800-843-
5678. You also should notify your online service
If you can't immediately locate your child, stay calm. Most likely,
your child is safe, preoccupied in an activity and has no clue you
are worried.
If your child is missing at home, first, search the house. For a
young child, you should check closets, piles of laundry, in and under
beds, inside old refrigerators — wherever a child could crawl into or hide
and possibly be asleep or not able to get out. For an older child, check
with the child's friends, with neighbors or at other hangouts. If you still
cannot find your child, call the police immediately.
If your child disappears when shopping, notify the manager of the
store or the security office and ask for assistance in finding your
child. Then telephone the police. When speaking with the police, identify
yourself and your location and say, "Please send an officer. I want to
report a missing child."
When an officer arrives to take your report:

· Give your child's name, date of birth, height, weight and
any unique identifiers.

· Tell when you noticed the disappearance and when you last
saw your child.

· Describe the clothing the child was wearing when he or she
disappeared.

· Tell the officer if your child is mentally challenged or
drug dependent.

· Listen to instructions and answer any questions as
completely as you can.

· Provide police with a recent photograph.

· Write down the officer's name, badge number, telephone
number and the police report number.

· Keep a notebook and record all information about the
investigation.
Tell the police that you want your child immediately entered into the
National Crime Information Center (NCIC) Missing Person File. This
ensures that any law-enforcement agency in the country will be able to
identify your child if found in another community. There is NO mandatory
waiting period for reporting a missing child to the police or for entry into
NCIC. Then, call the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
at 1-800-843-5678 and the National Runaway Switchboard at 1-800-621-
4000.
Don't panic or lose sight of the immediate task at hand, locating
your child. If you think your child has run away, keep in mind that
many children return within 48 hours
Precautionary Measures Most likely, the following precautionary
measures will never prove necessary. But just in case your child might
disappear:

· Keep and update regularly a complete written description of
your child. Include date of birth, color of hair and eyes, height,
weight, unique physical attributes and any other significant
identifiers (braces, pierced ears, eyeglasses).

· Take color photographs of your child every six months.
Photographs should be of high quality and in focus so the child is
easily recognizable. Head and shoulder portraits from different
angles, such as those taken by school photographers, are preferable.

· Make sure the dentist updates your child's dental charts
each time an examination or dental work is performed.

· Know where your child's medical records are located.
Medical records, particularly X-rays, can be invaluable in helping to
identify a recovered child. It is important to have all permanent
scars, birthmarks, blemishes and broken bones recorded.

· Arrange with your local police department to have your
child fingerprinted. In order for fingerprints to be useful in
identifying a person, they must be taken properly. Your police
department has trained personnel to assist you. The police department
will give you the fingerprint card and will NOT keep a record of the
child's prints The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC),
established in 1984 as a private, nonprofit organization, serves as a
clearinghouse of information on missing and exploited children. NCMEC
also provides technical assistance to citizens and law enforcement
agencies, offers training programs to law enforcement and social
services professionals, and distributes photographs and descriptions
of missing children nationwide.

How NCMEC Can Help
A 24-hour, toll-free telephone line is open for those who have
information on missing and exploited children: 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-
843-5678). This number is accessible throughout the United States,
Canada, and Mexico. The TDD line is 1-800-826-7653. The NCMEC
business number is 1-703-235-3900. The NCMEC facsimile number is 1-
703-235-4067.

MORE CHILD SAFETY TIPS

  • Yell, Kick, & Scream - This may seem obvious, but many children
  • freeze when they are frightened by an adult. Make sure they know
  • that if they are scared, they won't get in trouble if they don't go
along quietly. Yell- This person is hurting me! Kick - offender's
foot, groin or knee. Scream.
  • Area Code & Phone Number - Make sure your child knows their
    area
code and phone number. Does your child know how to make a collect
call or dial in case of an emergency? Teach your child not to give
their phone number or address to others without permission.
  • Buddy System - A child alone is an easy target. Encourage your
children to use the buddy system and to watch out for each other.
  • Lure Tactics - I have lost my puppy. Will you help me find him?
I'll  give you $10 if you'll help me put this in the car. Parents,
teach  your children how to respond--it is best to ignore them. Avoid
any  conversation and run.
  • Family Code Word - A code word is a lock and key for your child.
  • For  example, "Your Mom and Dad have been in a car wreck. You
    need to
come with me right now!" Child: "What is the code word"? If the
adult doesn't know, then the child doesn't go. The child should run
away from that person and tell whomever is responsible for them--
teacher or parent --what happened. Get a description of the
perpetrator if possible.
  • Separation Plan - Teach your children to go to a cashier or ticket
booth if they are separated from you while at a mall, amusement
park, or any place you travel.
  • Neighbors - Organize a block watch and participate in a safe home
program.
  • Child's Clothes - Make a mental note of what your child wears
every  day! Also, do not put your child's name on the outside of their
clothing because it allows others to easily identify your and
address him/her directly.

Special Thanks to Mr. Michael Munyon, U.S. Armed Forces Director for
allowing us to use this source.
Patterns Media
Pro Shop
Child Safety
BULLYBUSTER
Tell young children:

Never say you are alone when answering the phone; offer to take
a message or say your parents will phone back.
Never answer the door if you are alone.
Do not invite anyone into the house without the permission of a
parent or babysitter.
Never go into anyone's house with letting parent or babysitter
know where you are.
Do not get into anyone's car without parent's permission.
Do not take candy or other gifts from strangers or anyone else
with asking a parent first.
Never play in deserted buildings or isolated areas.
Move away from a car that pulls up beside you if you do not know
the driver.
No one may touch any part of your bodies that a bathing suit would
cover. If someone should touch you in those areas or make you
touch them in those areas, immediately tell parents about it. This
includes people you know, friends of the family, uncles, aunts,
godfathers, or anyone else. Even though it may be embarrassing,
it is not your fault and it needs to stop.
Tell parents, school authorities, or a police officer about anyone
who exposes his or her private parts.
Tell parents if someone has asked you to keep a secret from you.
If lost or separated from you in a store or mall, o to the nearest
cashier.
Use the buddy system, never walk or ride bikes alone, at day or
night.
Always walk toward traffic, even when on sidewalks. That way an
abductor cannot drive up from behind and pull the you into his or
her vehicle. Walk in the middle of the sidewalk, away from
doorways and alley-ways.
Do not take unsafe shortcuts across parks, etc.
Always tell a family member or other adult in charge where you will
be at all times and when you will be home, this includes when at
neighbor's house.
Always, always ask your parents permission to go to a friends
house, leave your yard, or go any other place. Your parents need
to know where you are going so as to protect you.
Do not go with strangers! Talking to strangers if you are with
someone with someone you know and trust is okay in most cases.
Do not talk to strange people on the other side of schoolyard
fence. Run and tell a teacher that a stranger is talking to you,
especially if they are asking you any questions.
Don't accept gifts from anyone not specifically OK'd by your
parents.
Special Thanks to all who
have donated their time,
recommendations and
material to help
make this site the best
website source on the
Chang Huhn Patterns.
BULLYING:  Understanding the Behavior

Any kind of ongoing physical or verbal mistreatment in which there is an
imbalance of power is defined as bullying.  In other words, the bully is often a
bigger and older child looking to “win” in any situation.  The bully’s victim is
usually upset by the experience, while the bully is either unaffected or is
pleased by the victim’s discomfort.

Reasons Why People Bully:

·         Lack of coping skills

·         Poor anger management skills

·         Lack of empathy skills with little remorse for the target

·         Lack of impulse control

·         Aggressive behavior patterns

·         Attention-seeking behavior

·         May have been bullied

·         Power and control

·         Boredom

·         Jealousy

·         Strong sense of entitlement

Has been bulling behaviors successfully used by others/recipient of physical
punishment

·         Defiance and oppositional views towards authority
·         Thinking that others control behavior/blaming others

Bullying Behaviors:

·         Saying hurtful and unpleasant things

·         Making fun of others

·         Using mean and hurtful nicknames

·         Completely overlooking someone

·         Deliberately excluding someone from a group of friends

·         Encouraging others to dislike someone

·         Hitting, kicking or pulling hair

·         Telling lies and spreading false rumors

·         Sending mean notes

Teach Life Skills:

Because some children will be picked on for characteristics they cannot or
should not change, it is very important for parents to teach their children life
skills that can mean the difference between a full and happy childhood or one
of constant dread and sadness.  Teach your child not to be a victim or a bully.

     Memorial Behavior Health for Kids:  1-800-831-1700.

Very Respectfully,

Michael Munyon